Aspera blog
Check out our blogs for more in depth resources on trauma/ EMDR and how to navigate your most challenging relationship issues.
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Attachment Styles and Where We Learned Them
Attachment style is another way of understanding how we show up in relationships. It’s rooted in our childhood experiences with our parents and determines how we interact with our romantic partners.
Carrying Trauma That Is Not My Own
One of the common misconceptions about marriage and family therapists is that we only treat couples and families. While we do have training in working with couples and families and hundreds of clinical hours required to apply for licensure as LMFT’s, the title is really more about our conceptualization of cases than the number of people in the room.
Narcissist-Codependent Relationships: The Toxic Yin-Yang Cycle
Typically where you find a narcissist, you will find a codependent. So if you’re googling “is my partner a narcissist?” yes, they probably are. And you could also be looking at what that means about you.
Codependency Recovery: Life on the Other Side of Codependency
We know that codependency can have a negative or even shaming connotation with it. The image is usually of a weak person who is not able to defend themselves. The reality is that people who end up becoming codependent are typically very kind, warm, compassionate people who have learned over time that their needs don’t matter.
Establishing Expectations in Romantic/Sexual Relationships: Conversations to have
We talk a lot about issues in relationships, like infidelity. Why is infidelity so prevalent when couples have agreed upon rules and expectations in their relationships?
Checking in on You: Did you survive the holidays?
So the holidays have come and gone- how are you doing? A lot of times the holidays can bring to light issues we have been dealing with for a long time but have pushed off getting help about.
Unmasking a Narcissist: How to Identify Covert Narcissist Traits and Navigate Toxic Dynamics
True narcissists are not interested in or even capable of real self-reflection. And definitely not change.
Thriving Through the Holidays: Taming Your People-Pleasing Tendencies
People pleasing is such a tricky thing to navigate. Especially over the holidays! There are so many people's expectations to manage and we can get so lost in those demands that we totally lose ourselves and end up not enjoying the season.
Navigating Infidelity During the Holidays: The Support You Actually Need
Whether the infidelity was first revealed around the holidays or you are living through one of the many “firsts” in the aftermath of finding out, it can be an incredibly painful season. One of the hardest parts for many people is the social stigma and expectations in the aftermath of an affair.
Breaking Free from the Narcissistic Cycle
Being in a relationship with a narcissist can be extremely traumatic. Narcissistic abuse is an insidious and crazy-making cycle that keeps the relationship sick and seriously injures the victim’s sense of self-worth.
Narcissistic Tendencies vs. Full-Blown Narcissist: What To Watch For
Narcissism exists on a spectrum and it can be helpful to identify if your partner has narcissistic tendencies. If they do, it doesn’t mean that they are a full-blown narcissist.
Surviving the Holidays with a Narcissist: Essential Tips to Keep Your Sanity
Dealing with the narcissist in your life is absolutely draining, especially over the holidays! Here are some things to remember.
2 types of infidelity & the healing that comes afterward
The main difference between physical and emotional infidelity in terms of healing is that often the unfaithful partner will be more defensive of and denying of an emotional affair. It is much more difficult to defend physical affairs, especially when there is explicit evidence.
Understanding EMDR & the benefits
EMDR (eye movement desensitization and reprocessing) is an evidence-based form of psychotherapy that works to help release the negative beliefs, emotions, and uncomfortable sensations stuck in the body associated with traumatic memories.
Common misconceptions about narcissism and codependency
It is always important to remember that someone with narcissistic tendencies and a full-blown narcissist are not the same thing. Narcissism exists on a spectrum. While some of the above list could feel like red flags, it is important to be able to distinguish the difference between healthy and unhealthy or relational and nonrelational behavior.
The most surprising thing about codependency
When you think about the fact that codependency develops as a way to protect yourself in a situation that your body felt was unsafe, it really takes away the shame and stigma of the word.
It could have been worse- so why am I struggling so much?
A lot of times those who experience little t trauma feel like what happened in their life could have been much worse, leading them to think “why am I struggling so much, my childhood was good, I never had anything major happen to me?”
Surprise…narcissists prefer boundary-less relationships
There are internal and external boundaries that can be helpful to keep in mind when dealing with the narcissists in your life or trying to set boundaries with a narcissist in general.
Domestic Violence isn’t only what you think…
Domestic abuse can show up in a number of ways that are all equally as damaging. Here are the 3 main types of domestic abuse explained.
5 Key Principles to healing after infidelity
Infidelity isn’t a death sentence to a relationship. Despite what is popularly touted in social circles. In fact, 57% of couples stay together post infidelity. The number one thing needed to heal from infidelity is that the partner who strayed from the relationship actually wants the marriage.